A new kitchen and what?? A baby??

Oh, how these last few months have been quite the emotional challenge.  I have been wanting a new kitchen since we bought our house.  It was small and outdated.  I pushed and pushed until finally I was able to convince Santiago that it was something we could financially handle.  Planning for it consumed me, as you can tell by my absencse from blogging.  So, mid-April we finally started demo on it.  As soon as this happened, I began to get pretty bad cramps through-out the day.  Not a good thing when you need to be on top of meals without a kitchen, and taking care of the rest of the house.  It was pretty much a disaster area.  Well, these cramps weren't going away.  I figured it was due to stress, and that maybe my monthly "visitor" was being delayed because of it.  I hadn't been keeping track of my cycles though, because I had an IUD put in after Sam was born.  With an IUD your cycles are suppose to be irregular, so I didn't feel the need to keep track.  By two weeks of the cramping and no "visitor" I started looking through my calendar trying to figure out dates.  I could not remember when I had started last.  Of course I always think, "what if I'm pregnant?"...but then there is always Santiago telling me I'm not.  He did not want me spending money on a test, so I waited. The night of May 3rd is one I will never forget.  That late Friday afternoon I sat on the couch and my legs were feeling so restless.  Now, I get major restless legs when I'm pregnant.  Feeling fed up with everything I went straight to Target to pick up a test.  That night after the kids went to bed I couldnt wait any longer, and took it without telling Santiago.  I never thought it would really be positive, I had an IUD for gosh darnit!  But sure enough that "plus" sign just stared back at me.  I freaked out...to put it lightly.  When I came out to tell..or yell...at Santiago he of course had no reaction.  All I could say was "I told you!"  That weekend I was an emotional wreck.  Santiago and I had both felt good about stopping at three kids.  We were drained, and I no desire to go through childbrith again.  At my ob appt Monday morning my IUD was taken out, and the ultrasound afterwards showed that I was 8 wks along.  I was in shock.  The risk of miscarriage was about 25%, so the next couple of weeks I didn't know what to think or feel.  But I was scared.  Scared of trying to pay off the kitchen and having to buy a bigger car. Scared of taking care of four kids under 6 years of age. Scared of being up all night with a newborn.  But mostly, scared of going through all the pain again of delivery.  (I am still traumatized after Sam).  At my next appointment three weeks later they did another ultrasound and everything looked good.  We decided to tell the kids that night.  We videotapped it, and Isaiah couldn't have been more excited.  It may sound like I am not grateful for this new baby.  I am.  Some personal experiences that happened to me back in March actually confirm to me that this baby was no accident, and gives me faith that I can do it. 

Introducing little Ortega #4. Due 12/17/2013

So if you see a young mom struggling with her four young kids, don't judge.  They just might be unplanned blessings that she loves more than anything. 

As for that kitchen, hopefully it will be finally completed in the next few weeks.  Before and after pics are sure to come!